My friends and me are tanning on the beautiful, yellow, beach in Pataya. Carla and Maud are in the big, blue sea. Suddenly, Carla and Maud see the gigantic tsunami and Maud grabs my friends and me.
They went to the long and big building but Carla is shaken. I see Carla on the beach and I run very fast to save her. "Carla Carla what are you doing come here the tsunami arrive very speedily".
I'm going to take Carla but she cannot move. I call Antony for help me, we lift up Carla together and they are going in the big and long building. Thirty minutes after, the tsunami breaks the building.
The building collapses maybe in 3 minutes. They are listen the helicopter, then Victor sees the helicopter and it comes to take my friend and me.
11 comments:
Fantastic efforts Christophe. Brilliant adjectives at the beginning, including "gigantic", "big, blue" and "long and big". Very dramatic and an excellent dialogue speech.
Don't forget though, that the challenge was to include this sentence "… the water just kept gushing out …" Try to remember this for next time. Good first, independent attempt.
I really like your story Christophe good job. I like the words you use in your story.
Great story, some of them doesn't make sense, you didn't use past tense but you loads of good words like gigantic, collapses and stuff.
good story but you have to be careful on how you write things because you said My friends and me instead of My friends and I.You also have not Included the weekly challenge but I understand you are not confident in writing in English.Good try!!
A very interesting story, even though next time you should probably double check your writing. Very good effort.
your writing is great but remember to use past tense next time.
Thank you bro
(larrs)
thank you
I really like your story it so interesting but do not forget to use past tense.
Great story very descriptive story!
Good story but the tense is wrong.
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