Thursday, 18 May 2017
WHAT THE?!!
'Wide, orange, pink, juicy? What on earth?!' I thought to myself as a confused expression took over my face. "Don't look so puzzled James, it's a peach." Said the old-green-grasshopper. "A peach?!" I exclaimed. "Well it's not a crocodile!!" said the ladybug. She seemed to be incredibly fascinated by crocodiles. I honest don't know why. "SPLISH BOOM!!" The loudest sound echoed from inside the peach. It almost sounded like the fresh, juicy fruit had just collapsed within. "Now that definitely was a giant crocodile." The ladybug said, extremely sure of herself. "No it wasn't! Crocodiles don't live in peaches you silly bug!" the old-green-grasshopper yelled. The ladybug screamed of fear "What was it then?!"
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7 comments:
Very nice adjectives!
I loved the use of vocab, and how you explained the story.
( Faye114 ) Sincerely, Lieve
I like how you Used capital letters because It really makes the reader want to read it also The title is Very Interesting.Nice use of rhetorical questions.Rhetorical questions is a way to make readers Interested and That is what you did.
I like your story its funny.
I really liked how you wrote about animals having a conversation because mostly peoples writing is about humans. I also liked your humor and how your dialog was very interesting.
nice use of descriptive words ' wide,orange,pink,juicy'.
Nice description on the start, I like that you used animals instead of human to, I also liked that you use "SPLISH BOOM!!" with exclamation mark. I also like how you left us hanging on that end.
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