Long ago lived a young girl called Alma, she lived a normal life until that day. A big pirate came and took Alma from her family. They took her to the ship, she looked at the great wide ocean with happiness. After the captain made her to be a gunpowder monkey, but since she was a little girl she couldn´t do the job so the captain made her be a chef assistance. One day she saw a crocodile and she was so chocked and she nearly fainted so the chef gave her an orange to eat, but she was allergic to oranges within a second she collapsed down and died.
4 comments:
I liked your story but why was she happy? In your next posts, try to describe the situation more clearly.
I think you've forget to put the word "Shocked" other than Chocked Irin so that it can make sense.
Hi Irin, I like your story but did I have to die? Haha. Anyway good story and good use of punctuation. I like the fact that "Alma" was taken from her family.
I really love the ending because it's flows very well
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