Yesterday Ben came back from his work trip and brought back a very precious peace of golden cake. People say that the golden cake is not easy to find and it cost a fortune to get a peace. Ben bought a peace of golden cake for my birthday. However I just couldn't eat something so precious so I left it in the box and put it in the shelfs.
A month later I decided that I wanted to eat the peace of golden cake and guess what I found? The cake was already eaten by the mouse and that is when I regret no eating the cake.
2 comments:
I like your idea and your rhetorical question. to make it better you could add more commas and maybe next time you could highlight the phrase that you have to make it easier for the reader if they want to find it.
You spelled "peace" wrong it supposed to be "piece".
But anyway nice story.
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