Thursday, 11 May 2017
I miss my home
Hi my name is Jack. I miss my family, I miss my love. I asked my captain ,his name was Jeff, when are we going to sail back to Manchester,England. He said hopefully in about six months. I counted everyday, days till days. Six months past still no sign for the ship to be turning back to England. I was very sad I couldn't even eat something. I couldn't eat something so I just work hard and did my job the chef. One evening Captain Jeff told me to come out of my room. Jack,hopping to see his wife,talked about his passes to captain Jeff.
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2 comments:
Great beginning Natty. Really like your sentence structures and you managed to remember to use the present participle, which is great. Your idea for the theme is really good too.
I think you meant day by day instead of "days till days". Look at the sentences after this phrase. See if you can spot some minor (small) errors.
Well done.
I really like your story you have used participle phrases in it.
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