Greetings, my name is Kit, 12 years old and a student. If I were you I would be completely petrified because of the weight that's put on your shoulders when you are helping the people. And that takes a lot of courage and that also tells me that you are strong enough to carry all that weight both figuretively and literally. I really hope the charity will get more support and a lot of people give it resources and tons of more help. What goes through your mind while you are performing surgery?
Monday, 12 June 2017
A letter to Andrew Sesay
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4 comments:
Fantastic work and great effort. You have clearly researched Mr Sesay's life and imagined yourself in his situation to give him your opinions. I enjoyed the fact that you finished with a question to receive his first hand experiences and feelings. Your letter displayed an incredible range of grammatical structures and complex vocabulary, and you have very good punctuation and a clear focus throughout the letter.
My only tip would be to use paragraphs in the future to clearly separate your ideas and make the piece flow.
Keep up the good work Kit, you should be very proud!
U gave lots of information.
great work hope you keep writing like this.I liked that you gave your own opinion and lots of detail you imagined yourself as him and how you would feel.
I loved your piece Kit. I love the empathy behind your words and the structure and thought behind your writing, how it went from acknowledgement of his work, to recognition of what that says about his character, to the charity. The question at the end relates it back to Andrew personally and is very emotive.
The only tip I would give is to re-read your work once more, at the end to make sure your sentencing is correct!
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