Dear Mr. Seasay
I am Mark. You helped loads of mother to give birth to their child, and made them have less pain. One question, didn't you feel any pressure when you were doing surgery? For that was amazing because you need to saved two life, you need to be very precise to let the other person to give birth to the baby. I guess you've been saved loads of life and gave loads of birth. You are amazing, you are a hero, all rewards that you have is absolutely for you, no one else should have it only you should!
Mark
3 comments:
A great letter! I liked the fact that you were polite by saying "Mr. Seasay" and that you included an interesting question. The letter has good grammar and vocabulary, and it was nice to see you included praise for all the hard work he does.
To improve, I would suggest that you include paragraphs in your work to clearly separate sections.
Keep up the good work!
I love how you wrote the letter, you put some great words. But some sentences still doesn't make sense, but not too bad because I could still understand. You were trying to use some hard word like precise. You still need to improve a lot, but it will be better soon.
Keep it up!!!!
I really like the choice of title and the formality behind using Andrew's sir name. Your work was full of a good range of words.
My tip for the future would be to re-read your work and to think about grammar - for example 'saved two life' would be 'saved two lives. Overall it was a really good piece and grammar and use of words will come with practice.
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