Friday, 9 June 2017
Capsizing
As the lookout see's the island, the captain shouts to his crew to investigate the island.The captain steps foot onto the sand and orders most of the crew to come with him, leaving the sailing master on guard of the ship. "We split," said the captain, choosing three people to go with him and the other four to go on themselves. While the crew are on the island the sailing master goes down to the deck getting something to eat, suddenly he finds their is a hole in the ship and the water just kept gushing out so he tried to stop it but he found the hole out too late and the force of the water pushes everything he tries to plug in.
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2 comments:
A really nice piece of descriptive writing! I particularly like the action like description, giving the piece a thrilling feel. The description of the crew is really believable, and you take the reader on a brief journey with the ships captain. Good use of grammar and punctuation, especially the quotation marks. If anything you could perhaps extend the ending and add more to the story, like what happens to the leak, and also experiment with some different types of punctuation. Keep up the good work!
i really liked you piece of writing.
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