Saturday, 10 June 2017
Way to the island
There was one ship in the middle of the endless sea. The sea is a mystery, no one knows what was beneath the sea. One group of pirate were going out for adventure, and of course the destination was treasure island. But the way to the island wasn't that easy. We used water as an energy of the ship, but the water just kept gushing out for some reason, so we let our cabin boy go and check. We heard cabin boy screaming on top of his voice. The ship started to sink, all of us will be dead soon.
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2 comments:
A really nice piece of descriptive writing! I particularly like the action like description, giving the piece a thrilling feel. The part about the pirates is really nice, and is reminiscent of a traditional tale of debauchery and plunder. Good use of grammar and punctuation, especially your use of commas and full stops. If anything you could perhaps extend the ending and add more to the story, like what happens to the pirates, and also experiment with some different types of punctuation. Keep up the good work!
You did exactly 100 word (which is good) on this post. Your writing was really intense.
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