Friday, 9 June 2017
Captain Jack and Hooky!
Hello! Captain Jack, how was your day? asked Hooky. They're enemy because they had an argument before, after 2 years Captain Jack was sail the ship to find the holden treasure with his crew, "BUT!" he saw... Mr.Hooky was sailing the ship to the same island as Captain Jack going to get the treasure. Meanwhile they had an argument again, a fill minutes later Hooky shoot the Large bullet through his ship and the water just kept gushing out from his ship. He saved the water under his ship?They had a fight because they both tried to get the Treasure.
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4 comments:
A really nice piece of descriptive writing! I particularly like the action like description, giving the piece a thrilling feel. The description of the pirates is really believable, and the mention of Captain Jack gives every Pirates of the Carribean fan something to look forward to!. Good use of grammar and punctuation, especially the question mark. If anything you could perhaps extend the ending and add more to the story, like what happens to treasure, and also experiment with some different types of punctuation. Keep up the good work!
Nice story Emma it is very interesting but next week it would be very good if you make it exact 100 word so maybe you might get in the competition.
Emma you wrote a really interesting piece of work, you used lots of descriptive words. I could see your story (like a movie but in your head) you did great.
I like how you added a rhetorical question.
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