Friday, 9 June 2017
Duck Tape
One day, I was just hanging out with my friends. " Lets have a water fight" said Izabella, " Alright said Isabel. "There might be a hole in the hose because yesterday Theo felt hungry, so he bit the hose. " I said in a quite tone. We went out in the garden, then Amy opened the hose. Then the water just kept gushing out of the hole in the hose. Then Sara and Faye came up with an amazing idea. " Why don't we get duck tape and put it over the hole. " Faye said, We got duck tape and fixed the problem.
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7 comments:
A really nice piece of narrative writing! I particularly like the domestic description, giving the piece a familiar feel. Good use of grammar and punctuation, especially the quotation marks. Watch out for spelling with 'quiet', and make sure spacing is looked at. You could perhaps extend the ending and add more to the story, like what happens to the leak, and also experiment with some different types of punctuation. Keep up the good work!
I like that you wrote about people you know...also, I liked the humor because I think that humor is important when writing because it keeps the reader capsized...
I really like your story I really like how you used your friends its cool. :)
Great story, but why am I a monster.
very good story, i like your story
congratulation
Thank you all ! Next time I will be sure to check my work before publishing it.
I like your story because it is funny.I like how you added a bit of dialogue.
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