Thursday, 8 June 2017
The magic bucket!
It was my first day onboard, I was the swab. I was new so I didn't realise that the bucket I was about to put the water in was magic. I filled the bucket with water. Unexpectedly, the water just kept gushing out the bucket. Everyone else just ignored the water that was making the ship sink. I screamed, I turned the bucket round and then I found out it was a magic bucket, nobody, except the last person you hugged, could see or hear you for eternity.The last person I hugged was my grandpa just before he died....
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4 comments:
A really nice piece of narrative writing! I particularly like the thrilling description, giving the piece a sense of anticipation towards the end - the drop uses this to good effect. Good use of grammar and punctuation, especially the ellipsis. The storyline uses a mystical element implemented well into a normal setting. You could perhaps extend the ending and add more to the story, like what happens to the boat, and also experiment with some different types of punctuation. Keep up the good work!
Good job sade story is very interesting Do your best on the next one: )
I really liked your piece of handwriting and how it was a magic bucket
I like your story Sade.I like how you added hard interesting vocabulary
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