Thursday, 8 June 2017
Sinking Ship
I was with my captain one day he told me to go fix the holes in the boat, so I went to fix it. I got the wood and put placed it on the hole but the hole got bigger and ...the water kept gushing out... of the ship. The ship was sinking, everyone on the ship panicked while the ship sank. I also panicked but there was lifeboats there was only two so the whole crew couldn't get on it.,so we left without them. I was really lucky because I was the youngest on the ship so I went first, we survived.
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1 comment:
A really nice piece of narrative writing! I particularly like the active description, giving the piece feel of anticipation. The description of a ship is also really imaginative, with an especially dark twist at the end. Good use of grammar and punctuation, especially the quotation marks. You could perhaps extend the ending and add more to the story, like what happens to the protagonist, and also experiment with some different types of punctuation. Keep up the good work!
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